Wednesday, June 9, 2010


I am one of those people that stresses themselves out too easily. Anyone that knows me knows this is true. I feel really stressed right now and I have to keep taking deep breaths just to feel normal.

I am still feeling a lot of pressure at work even though we are kind of slow right now. I took one test for work (a big one) a month and a half ago but I have another test coming up in a week and a half. This one should be easier but the problem is, I put off studying until now so now I am going to have to cram. I totally know that is my own fault.

I am also stressing about some other tests I have to take for work. They aren't as big of a deal as the one mentioned above but still, they are hanging over my head and I just want to get them done.

I am stressed about money. I guess that is a constant. We need to buy this or fix that or go here or do this and it all seems to cost money! It is funny because now that I am back at work, I think I am more stressed about money than I was before! Weird.

I started a new workout plan (P90X) and though it is going well so far, I am getting stressed about it. Not really stressed but almost anxious. I am ready for results, though they won't come for a while. I am thinking about the future on this program - it is 90 days long and I am only on day 3. I keep wondering if I will be able to do it and if so, how well will I do and what will I look like after I'm done? I wonder what will be next for me as far as workouts go if I can complete it. I can do it over again (which I should) and hopefully get in even better shape. I have also started to think more about my health regarding this. Am I pushing myself too hard? How will this all work out as far as my diabetes is concerned and how can I eat the right things and give myself the right amount of insulin so my body recovers well and I get the most out of it? See? I think about way too many things.

I am stressing a little bit about a friendship and I won't go into it too much. I am starting to feel like the effort is all one sided and it's making me very sad and resentful.

I stress myself out easily with the future - what will happen, where will we end up, what will become of both of us? It's a lot to think about and most of it is fruitless. I just can think and think and think about a million different scenarios for so many things.

There's even more but I will quit for now as I am sure this is quite boring for people to read who aren't living it. I realize everyone has their own stress and most people probably handle it better than me! Hopefully the working out long term thing will help with stress.

2 comments on "Stressed!"

Jules on June 9, 2010 at 7:48 PM said...

I've heard a lot of good results from others who have used P90X! Stay encouraged! I know, first hand how it is when you don't see results right away, but they will come if you keep at it! :o) I'm a little stressed myself. And depressed. Different things really cause this, but it amazes me how much we must think alike. I worry and stress over some of the same things you do. And I tend to analize and think too much abou things. Hubs even tells me that sometimes. Sometimes I have to stop myself and ask, "Am I reading too deep into this? -Or- Am I analizing this situation too much?" It's hard not to sometimes. I have the same feelings about a relationship in my family where I feel like it's all one sided...trying to be "normal" and reach out to a sibling that doesn't really seem to care if I reach out or not. It gets really tiresome and I must say that I'm ready to give up. They talk about wanting to be a family but then make no effort. One-sided relationships are no fun that is for sure and certain. I think everyone stresses about money. But then again, maybe not.

Travel & Dive Girl on June 10, 2010 at 7:21 AM said...

You are being WAY too hard on yourself. Take everything a day at a time. I had a boss tell me once - "life is too short to sweat the small things in life and at the end of the day, it's all small stuff". He was right and that's how I try to live my life. Just breath and enjoy life and the surprises that come your way. It will all work out in the end.

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