Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Babywise, Edition #3

So, I have written 2 previous posts regarding Babywise and I think I have shown in some of the things I talked about how much I believe in it.

However, I will say there is one big problem I have....not with the Babywise books, but more with myself than anything.

I love all the principals in the book and agree with about 95% of them. The problem I have is this - every single day I think to myself "Am I doing enough? Has Xander had his playtime, his nap time, his learning time? Did I practice the sign language enough during high chair time? Do I need to discourage him from pulling on my hair while nursing? Do I need to play with him more or less? Is he feeling lonely or smothered? Is he developing fast enough? Do I need to do more learning activities or let him have more free play time? Is it a cop out to put him in the swing? What if I can't put him down for a nap the exact time every day? How am I supposed to get all my shopping done in an hour to get him home in time for a nap? Should I try to force him to be on his tummy more to get him to crawl?" And on and on and on it goes.

In a way I feel like Babywise almost puts too many ideas and rules into your head and I almost feel like a failure if I can't follow them all or don't execute everything perfectly every day. I know I am a smart person and can use my common sense, but I still worry sometimes. I think that is also the curse of a stay-at-home mom. I have all day to think about this kind of thing. I know if I was at work all day, the 'rules' of Babywise would be one of the last things on my mind. I would mostly just care if my kid cried all day while at daycare or about if I can get the laundry and dishes done that night.

I don't worry as much as I am making it sound like, but all of those thoughts and more do cross my mind most days. I know that you can't get everything you want to get done in a day done every day. If I could, I would be super woman! I just hope every day I am doing enough to make sure my kid knows I love him and I hope he is getting enough structure, learning opportunities and playtime. Nothing in life is perfect and I don't think there is such a thing as using Babywise perfectly. I think everyone will interpret it different and apply it different to their child and life and I think that is the way it should be.

1 comments on "Babywise, Edition #3"

Sharon on July 2, 2009 at 4:45 PM said...

Hey Sarah! I used BabyWise too!

I struggled initially because I'm a "rules followin' kinda gal." I had to realize that it's the principles that I was needing to follow, not the exact process. My husband finally said to me "it's not a recipe where you just add two eggs and stir!" and that was exactly what I needed to remember! Sounds like we've had similar experiences.

I only read the first book but based on your advice I'll check out the next two. Thanks for the tips.

BTW, in New Zealand BabyWise is HUGE. Everyone over there uses it and there is no controversy at all. Go figure!

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